Opening up about your financial ambitions and concerns with your partner can ignite passion. Here are five strategies to help you get started.

Should discussing finances be as pleasurable as intimacy? Ideally, that’s not the goal for your relationship. However, it's interesting to note that discussions around money are associated with improved intimacy.

Research indicates couples who engage in financial talks at least monthly are 57% more likely to report a fulfilling sex life compared to those who don’t.

By having ongoing conversations, they found financial clarity together.

Understanding your personal feelings about money—what drives your decisions and your aspirations—can be complex. Add your partner’s financial history into the mix, and it’s clear why money often becomes a source of tension in relationships.

However, Jamila Souffrant, the creator of the blog and podcast “Journey To Launch,” believes it doesn’t have to be that way. In one episode, she shared candid insights on how she and her husband increased their savings and managed finances together. This process took time.

“I was thrilled about the possibilities of our financial journey. But his aspirations were different, and he had his own path to understanding it,” she emphasized. Rather than forcing her views upon him, she allowed him to explore his feelings and come to his own conclusions. By discussing their feelings throughout the process, they achieved financial unity.

This alignment is significant. Couples who share financial goals are twice as likely to report extreme happiness in their relationships and 3.5 times more likely to feel financially secure. If you want to sync financially with your partner, consider these conversation starters and strategies. Who knows? It might even spark some extra fire in the bedroom.

Practice Being Each Other’s Therapist

“Money represents more than just currency,” explains Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and author. “It symbolizes various things.” Typically, it signifies different aspects for you and your partner, shaped by diverse upbringings and financial conversations. Acknowledging these differences is crucial. Choose a relaxed moment in a comfortable setting to begin discussions. “This should be a constructive dialogue, not an angry one,” Saltz advises.

Couples aligned on financial goals are twice as likely to express extreme happiness in their relationship and 3.5 times more likely to feel financially secure.

Start by reflecting on your past. Discuss how your family managed money. What attitudes did your parents hold regarding spending, saving, and financial planning? How did they communicate about money?

Discuss the Present and Get Practical

As you shift focus to the present, incorporate questions about your feelings toward money, your fears, and both short-term and long-term financial goals. This also includes an honest overview of your current financial situation, especially if you’re considering a serious commitment like moving in together or marriage.

Then, get pragmatic. “You both need to explore: ‘How will we manage our finances together?’” says Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor. “This involves understanding what debts you hold, what you own, and your earnings. What does each of you bring to the table?”

Engage in Active Listening

To ensure effective communication, consider mirroring, a technique where you repeat back what your partner says. This fosters understanding. For instance, say, “I want to confirm I understood you correctly. What I heard is that when I do X, it makes you feel Y. Is that accurate?” The more empathy you bring to the conversation, the better.

Avoid Assigning Blame

When discussing financial behaviors that concern you, steer clear of starting with “you.” That leads to defensiveness. Instead of saying, “You spend too much when going out with friends,” try, “I feel anxious about finances when you go out with friends because we often exceed our budget that week.” This approach minimizes defensiveness and promotes constructive dialogue.

Recognize the Need for Compromise

“It’s not about winning; it’s about teamwork,” says Schwartz. “Once you’re in a partnership, things will change.” For example, Souffrant aspired to retire early from her corporate job, while her husband, a teacher, found joy in his career. His goal was to acquire a new car.

“I approached him by asking, ‘How can we make that happen?’” she shared. “I didn’t dismiss his desire just because it wasn’t my priority. Considering your partner’s dreams makes a significant difference. How can you both work towards shared and individual goals?” Souffrant added, “The best part was reassuring him that we could revisit our decisions if it felt uncomfortable. That made both of us feel secure.”