Research indicates that women frequently prefer working under male leadership. This article delves into the reasons behind this tendency.
Some suggest that geographical factors play a role, with distinct regional behaviors observed. After spending years in New York, I was struck by the differences in how women interacted when I moved to San Francisco. In New York, I had grown accustomed to the cold stares and lackluster greetings from women. However, in San Francisco, I encountered friendly smiles and warm welcomes from female strangers eager to connect and collaborate. It was refreshing to feel my defenses lower.
While New York's competitive nature might contribute to a less inviting atmosphere among women, the camaraderie I found on the West Coast made me question why we can be so unkind to one another.
This issue often goes unnoticed, as women fear being labeled as unsupportive or hostile if they express their experiences. However, denying the ongoing tensions among us doesn't help the current state of our relationships.
A Gallup survey shows that 55% of Americans have no gender preference for their boss; however, those with a preference lean slightly towards male leaders. This raises the question: why do we hesitate to support one another?
Experiences with Difficult Female Leaders
Numerous young women I’ve spoken to share troubling tales of their encounters with female bosses. Instead of the anticipated guidance and encouragement, they often face passive-aggressive comments and condescension. Consequently, many say they now prefer male supervisors, who tend to treat them more fairly and offer better advancement opportunities.
While they certainly don't overlook issues like harassment or misogyny, they seek to escape the unkindness they sometimes face from other women. Here’s one account from a diligent young woman I know:
Working under a challenging female manager was a tough experience. As the only other woman on the team, she directed her frustration at me, possibly feeling threatened by my presence. Despite my efforts to excel and suggest new ideas through a shared Google Doc, she dismissed my contributions, stating she’d never look at it. This was shocking, especially since my previous male manager valued my input so highly that he organized a brainstorming session with me.
I ultimately left for a new position, despite enjoying my colleagues, simply because collaborating with her was unbearable. It was disheartening.
Her story is not isolated. It’s crucial to mention that not every woman mistreats others, and I hope you can think of at least one supportive female figure from your career. Yet, despite this, statistics show that women often favor male bosses more than men do and tend to hire men over women.
One successful female entrepreneur remarked, “Men might not always get along, but they still promote each other. A woman may overlook another simply based on her shoes.” While this may be an oversimplification, it captures an important truth.
This leads us to our current state: either mistreating or avoiding one another. Do men maintain their dominance by excluding each other? Not at all. They form bonds through golf outings and other activities.
Sheryl Sandberg touched on a key point. We need to lean in, but not just towards our work. It’s time to lean into supporting one another.
